Pictures of Stuart's Special Forces graduation this last February.

258

There's a certain Slant of Light,
Winter Afternoons-
That oppresses, like the Heft
Of Cathedral Tunes

Heavenly Hurt, it gives us-
We can find no scar,
But internal difference,
Where the Meanings, are-

None may teach it-Any-
Tis the Seal Despair-
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the Air-

When it comes, the Landscape listens-
Shadows-hold their breath-
When it goes,'tis like the Distance
On the look of Death-

Emily Dickinson

the minimized windows below my document:
dictionary.com scratch that it's thesaurus.com
freetranslation.com
http://stmarys.class ---->classical music library
http://stmarys.class ---->classical music player (on pause/stop because i usually can't work and listen to music)

the maximized windows that need be closed:
blogger- edit blog

so this is how that limerick actually goes:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who Kept all his cash in a bucket;
But his daughter named Nan
Ran away with a a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket




it was in the tan book, figured it had to make it here sometime.

sometimes i stay up late to the point where i get nauseous and i can hear chiming bells in my head. there's also blotchy colors. at least i think those bells are in my mind and not elsewhere. these usually mark the time when i walk to my bed without brushing my teeth or washing my face or sometimes without taking my contacts out. maybe it's because i like to think everyone else is asleep. maybe it's just a better time to think, or that time to think won't let me pass. i know a little bit is me accepting the bleeding exhaustion. even welcoming it.

do you ever feel cheap for using a thesaurus? probably most english teachers recommend you use one; it makes you smarter if it doesn't improve your vocabulary. but maybe we're really supposed to stare at the tip of the pencil or the blinking vertical line until we find exactly the right word we're looking for. it's either that or pick from a list of "eloquent" (man i don't like that word right now; might as well attach an essay on fakiness to it. i'd say phony, but there's enough holden in this world)words you somewhat know the relative meaning of, and plug it in there. only you don't have the experience with the word, just roget's or american heritage said so. i guess sometimes you feel good about the word, but usually cheap too.

the funny thing about the chiming bells is i've never heard that music before.

A man who seeing his mother starving to death on a path kicks her in the stomach to clear the way, will cheerfully devote several hours of his time giving wrong directions to a total stranger who claims to be lost.
-j.s.

Because Katyana doesn't want to hear it anymore...

I present to you the greatest Top Gun quotes.....evah.

Iceman: You two really are cowboys.
Maverick: What's your problem, Kazanski?
Iceman: You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.
Maverick: That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.

Iceman: The plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room.

Maverick: I feel the need...
Maverick, Goose: ...the need for speed!

Goose: No. No, Mav, this is not a good idea.
Maverick: Sorry Goose, but it's time to buzz a tower.

Maverick: Too close for missles, I'm switching to guns.

Maverick: Jesus Christ, and you think I'm reckless? When I fly, I'll have you know that my crew and my plane come first.
Charlie: Well, I am going to finish my sentence, Lieutenant. My review of your flight performance was right on.
Maverick: Is that right?
Charlie: That is right, but I held something back. I see some real genius in your flying, Maverick, but I can't say that in there. I was afraid that everyone in the tax trailer would see right through me, and I just don't want anyone to know that I've fallen for you.

Viper: How ya doin'?
Maverick: I'm all right.
Viper: Goose is dead.
Maverick: I know.
Viper: You fly jets long enough, something like this happens.
Maverick: He was my R.I.O., my responsibility.
Viper: My squadron we lost 8 of 18 aircraft. 10 men. First one dies you die too, but there will be others. You can count on that. You gotta let him go. You gotta let him go.

Slider: Gutsiest move I ever saw, man.

Maverick: I will fire when I'm damn well ready!

You can call us Aaron Burr by the way we're dropping Hamiltons.

And I'm ghost like Swayze

appear

my foot so huge right now. i just figured EVERYONE wanted to hear from me in my little shadow. things on my desk: triple antibiotic creme with pain reliever, a half empt..ful..a bottle with some water in it, a battery charger, two non-rechargeable batteries, a glass which used to contain orange juice, a bottle cap. what am i thinking about right now. the music a child plays when he wanders away at a wedding and finds the piano.

don't cry children, everything is gonna be okay.

wednesdays are spelled funny (nes=nintendo)

United Airlines Flight 955
From Lon/Heathrow
To San Francisco

I'm sitting next to a blind man. His name is Edward. He's in the window seat. There's plenty of open spots, but at the moment I wish they were full. I wouldn't have to ponder the idea of filling one. I suppose I'd talk to Edward about it first. He nudged me to see if anyone was sitting next to him. So, "Hello, I'm Andrew." He's visiting his girlfriend in Eugene, there for a week. That's kinda familiar. If this is a play, then this is an interesting scene. My playwrights are feeling ironic I guess. I haven't mentioned the disabled, elderly lady to my right. She's needed as much help getting aboard and settled as Edward. Three's a crippled crowd. I really don't see any reason to move. Heh, then again, I hope Edward doesn't mind the smell of the houmous Katyana packed me.


Well they moved me. Nice arrangements for Edward and me. We now have more room than anybody in first class. I'll stop by occasionally to see how he's doing. I'm just so sleepy.

Charlie Hong Kong

p.s. i really don't like the way text wrapping works
here.

three hurrays for for Paco de Luarca
a dreamer and now a bleeding toereador
what prices would you pay to leave these tables
and stand amidst the crowds a murderer
rather than a poor boy

slain by his own ambition?

and it would have been worth while
to see the light break over the dashboard
one more morning of gray skies and empty plastic cups
traveling down this road that should have ended weeks ago

one more time to ride with you on the broken hillside
that winds down into foliage and bushes
the condor's there or at least the ranger's lies

i'll stay with you this trip, and think it matters like the last
i'm sorry

the dust is rising now, only to settle on us as we pass through

desperate as we are to be carried somehwere else whwere it matters
this time it matters
to become like the housees and bstones and bridges their cousiens became
only separated at his ribs

it's all a shade darker now,'afternoon hides beyhind its companions and i rest
i wish you could seee me now and think i had been like this before

the rubber watch keeps moving on my wrist and pardon me for his sin, but i'd do the same
not like it mattered

i've done it before and i'll do it again

Integral Juniors' Mascot

tenino

so this is Tenino. i got bored while rehearsing my land navigation studies. i have learned much to do about 8 digit grid coordinates, modified resections, and like back azimuths or something while gazing upon this magical land. maybe someday i'll visit tenino, i would totally be able to find the water towers and unimproved roads.

things are just groovy dooby doo over here. oh i bought a car last sunday, that's new. have i posted about that yet? no probably not. i should put up sleek pictures of me squatting next to the rims, but no i think not. i have yet to do laundry at school, which shows how much i have had to drive home. and my room is still minus a beautiful plant.

lately in class shakespeare hamlet jeez, montaigne apology for raymond sabond just finished, descartes' geometry ahh, and galileo dialogues concerning two new sciences.

this should be longer, but i want to brush my teeth and take a shower. i'm going to wear my retainer tonight, guys!

after a post like that, it's good to play poker with your friends. and lose.

for solitude

you're alone, because you're alone
it's your humor, it's your weight, it's your appointment in 7 minutes.
but you're alone, sitting near the wall.
not in the corner, that's where people hide.

and there's obviously something wrong with you.
antisocial, illfitting, blind and deaf
otherwise you couldn't bear it.
being alone

talking to yourself outloud is crazy,
but only so much more than listening to yourself quitely.



sometimes you can't stand them.
it's like they're talking about you, or even worse, to you.

quick, your response. liken it to theirs
before they could think you're different,
make them think you would be just as comfortable sitting at their table.
but wait, what's so wrong with differ...
and it's too late, because you're polite
and now, just like them.
no, i'm not using that chair. go ahead.


after all if you're smiling,
how could anything be hurting you.

and they'll be with you for the rest of the day
in your head, they'll follow you
to your desk, and underneath your sink.
their basketball shorts, their pleated skirts, their keyed lanyards.

if only they could realize, they're just as alone as you are.
in between their giggles and curses, and whines.
they have to listen to their own voice.
or maybe they just can't hear it anymore.

they will have to someday,
when it's no longer them, but he or she.
sighing from the yellow sheets of his last bed.
at some point, that voice is all we have left.

sometimes, scrubbiness is near to godliness?

tribute

is an interesting, official sounding word.

here's to friends.



oh and jessica, back from LAUP. we're proud of you?